Maybe i shouldn't pin any hopes at all. Maybe i shouldn't have listened to any of the positive stuffs they comment on this.
After all, i'm a super willing party who has got no brains.
Knowing that i'll just fall deeper and get hurt, i didn't stop it. 'm not enjoying the times spent together, the texts, everything. I'm not used to it either.
I don't know what i'm thinking too. And i thought it was infatuation.
Well this feeling of infatuation has sure grown stronger.
Everything i do is so related back to you.
Even the thing that has totally no link, there will still be thoughts of you.
Just those texts can make me smile like there's no tomorrow.
And it's the same texts that worries me.
You said that you're nothing like those beasts that FLIRTS! Oh, i forgot! You're a guy.
So that makes you no different from one.
You asked me to trust you.
What's trust? To you and to me.
Look, if you want me to, make me.
If not, tell me straight in the face.
I'm starting to think of what T told me about us and what you told J.
All maybe just a joke to you but to me, it's not.
I don't know.
Maybe you're too young to understand this and i'm like more mature then you to be thinking this way.
I didn't let my heart open for anyone to live in it. So please, move out soon.
You stole the key to it like you've admitted.
You could be super caring and make me go OMG!!! and AH!!
Sometimes, you just ignore me, totally.
I'm just a toy to you?
Ok, it's that i can't control or what but still, this sucks.
I'm angry with myself that this is so beyond my control.
Sometimes, i wonder, was it something i said or just my personality?
The image of you is just appearing everywhere.
Can't get you outta my mind even if it's just for a second.
I'm so not joking. And i'm not well.
In the past, i don't even notice you exist and now, i see you almost everywhere i go.
I really miss the very first 2 days i know you.
Especially the 8 August 2010.
I tell myself not to think but igt just the flash backs.
It made me tear unknowingly.
And realising i'm falling deeper each day. Bit by bit it kills.
I need an antidote like ASAP.
Someone please help.
Still, i really miss you, loads.
I swear i'm not joking. It kills. I hate this feeling.
What's happening to me?!